For Joe
This is a complicated personal project I’ve been working on since my year studying at the International Center of Photography (2019 - 2020) in New York City. Every student needed to have a year end project that they’d display in the graduation show, and we’d also have the opportunity to present it to editors, professionals, and gallerists at our portfolio review day at the same time. Our show was cancelled and deferred due to the Covid-19 Pandemic putting us all in NYC into quarantine.
Since I was a recently discharged military veteran, I had thought I’d document this time in my life with a self-portraiture project chronicling my transition back to civilian life. Sounds simple enough. But how wrong could I be…
I did not expect the scope to be so massive and complex, and I did not expect the Pandemic to have such a profound impact, adding a whole new dimension as I grappled with mental health and PTSD. Most of my peers had a tight ten or twenty photo edit, or a short video project. Many of them ended up publishing for fashion magazines or major newspapers. My goal was to make a five or ten minute short film using archival footage and narration, but I ended up giving up once I realized I had enough material for a full-length feature film. The task was too big.
So this has ended up turning into a life-long project — changing and coalescing into and out of meaning as I grow older and understand the role I played in history as an officer on a guided missile destroyer deployed to the Persian Gulf. With my undergraduate background in American politics, Security Studies, and International Relations I approach this story with a historic and world-wide scope as well as a granular focus-in on intimate personal experiences. With honesty as my guide, my stance on this project evolves as I age and continue to seek meaning and purpose in my life.
I’ve temporarily named it “For Joe,” a classmate and fellow veteran whom I was presenting it to one day for review. Succinct enough, I’ve kept it named so for the time being.
